The Hokey-Pokey (Shakespearean version)
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
-- by William Shakespeare (Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls)
I've finally got a few moments to follow up on this. I did a quick search on Technorati and found a blog with a link back to the original posting - which was appropriately enough by the Washington Post.
This was a submission from "Week CLXI, in which you were asked to rewrite some banal instructions in the style of some famous writer."
When you go to the link above, you have to scroll down a bit to get to the contest results.
Some other goodies that I liked:
This warning issues from a model modern Surgeon-general
Who wishes that your stay on Earth might be not so ephemeral
As mascot Joe, that smoking
hyperactive dromedary who
Succumbed to fatal illness, cardiac and pulmonary too ...
-- Gilbert and Sullivan rewrite the tobacco-pack warning
(Stephen Fahey, Kensington, and Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls)
A gauzy Skein of Propylene --
That sways with slightest Breath --
This bag holds smocks -- and Bread and Milk
But -- in its folds -- lies Death.
It sways and puffs -- this Thistledown, Balloonlike in its joy --
Each tiny mouth a perfect fit -- This bag is not a toy.
-- Emily Dickinson
(Jim Roy Wilson, Washington)