Monday, July 11, 2005

House Bathroom Rules

1. Clean up after yourself!! If you pee or poo in the bathroom, but NOT in the toilet - clean it up! Do not just leave it there hoping it will go away. Even if YOU THINK you have cleaned it up - get a GROWN-UP to check. Trust me - people over 4 ft tall have a very different definition of "clean."

2. FLUSH!!! Yellow or brown - flush it down!

3. Wipe - wipe - wipe. BEFORE you get down fom the toilet! Do NOT slide your poopy bum around on the toilet seat.

4. Wiping is NOT optional! If you can't wipe yourself - call a grown-up and wait ON THE TOILET - until they can wipe your butt.

La salle de bain en haute
Originally uploaded by Mama2Miracles.

5. ALWAYS leave the bathroom doors SHUT unless you are going in or out of them. This is so the twins don't go in and play in the toilet. This is especially important for those who forget rule #2.

6. If you do NOT want company in the bathroom - lock the door. Shut bathrooms doors are not always knocked on as the doors are always to be left shut (see rule # 4).

7. When you leave the bathroom - turn off the light! Lights run on electricity and electricity costs $! (Beaucoup d'argent, muchos de dinero, etc.)

La salle de bain en bas
Originally uploaded by Mama2Miracles.

8. Downstairs bathroom fan stays on 24/7. - electrical bill be d*&med! Do NOT turn it off. There is NO window and the door stays shut! Without air circulation - all odors produced in the bathroom stay there and multiply. This renders the bathroom unusable by most of the household inhabitants.

9. When shutting the bathroom door (see rule #4) first ensure the that there are NO stray toddlers in the bathroom.

10. Toilet paper is not a toy. It is NOT funny to unroll it all. Do not give the twins rolls of TP to play with.

11. DO use TP - but DON'T use such copious amounts of it that it clogs the toilet.

12. If you able - you may read in the bathroom - but don't under any circumstances leaving a book or magazine IN the bathroom. Please note You MUST be able to actually read to bring a book or magazine into a bathroom. Bringing a book in for the purpose of performing sea-worthiness tests in any water containing bathroom fixture - a an illicit activity and violators WILL be prosecuted.

Petite Madeleine avec un appareil-photo sur la toilette
Originally uploaded by Mama2Miracles.

13. Razors should NEVER be left on the side of the tub (due to violations of rules # 4 and 8).

13-a. A collory to rule #13 - Be forewarned that any shampoo, conditioner or expensive facial cleanser left on the side of the tub will will be mistaken for a bubble bath offering by the younger residents of the house. This would even including strawberry scented tear free shampoo that 6 year old may have conned a parent into buying the day before. Be advised that our policy is not to replace any such item unless the house is devoid of any related item - no matter how much you may whine or complain to us about the choice of Pantene or baby shampoo.


Sunny said...

Just be glad you have mostly girls. When Jason was 2 he...nope, better not tell that one. But, when Justin was 4...guess I'd best keep it to myself.

Cheryl said...

We have stories - believe me - Maddy however - is way worse than Michael ever was and that's saying a LOT!